Writing Advice: Writing With Your Emotions

 I’m not a therapist, but sometimes, writing while you’re feeling big emotions can be a good thing.

I remember writing after I lost my dog. That day, I must’ve written somewhere between 10,000 and 20,000 words. I was heartbroken, and I didn’t know what else to do except write. So that’s what I did.

Let me be clear: I’m not saying writing will fix everything or that you have to write when you’re upset. 

However, if you need an outlet, writing might be helpful.

You don’t have to write your manuscript. You don’t even have to make sense. The words can be messy and chaotic, just like your emotions. That’s okay.

Writing can help us process our emotions. In fact, some of the best stories and most memorable characters emerge from individuals who were going through a difficult time. For example, I often write happy endings. Why? Because I usually feel sad, and I don’t want my characters to feel the same way. (That doesn’t mean I won’t drag them through hell though.) But that sadness? That real emotion? It shows up in my work. I’ve had people tell me the way I write certain feelings, especially grief or loneliness, feels real. That’s because I was feeling those things while writing them.

Emotions are powerful. So is writing. Combine them, and you can create something incredible.

But there’s a flip side, too...don’t get trapped in your work.

Sometimes, people pour so much of themselves into their stories, especially during hard times, that they can’t pull away from it. They start living in the emotional world they’ve built, and it becomes harder to process those feelings in real life.

If you’re a gamer, the game Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 explains this idea really well.

Spoiler Warning for Expedition 33

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In the game, the Paintress is a grieving mother who get's trapped in a world of paint to escape the death of her son. If she stays too long, the world of paint will destroy her. Eventually, she has to be forcibly pulled out, because she can’t let go.

It’s fiction, but the message is real. Sometimes, we use our art to process things, but we can’t live there forever. That’s why it’s essential to step back. Talk to people. Rest. Heal outside the page, too.

Writing is powerful...but your well-being matters more.

Your story can wait one more day if you need it to.

Writing Advice: Your first draft will suck...and that's fine

 After more years than I can count on my fingers, I’ve finally finished my first book.

And when I say your first draft and your final version will look nothing alike, I mean it.

When I first started learning how to write, I used a script-style format because I thought it’d be easier. No pesky descriptions, no imagery to worry about. (In hindsight, discovering I have aphantasia would’ve explained a lot.)

Back then, I was so proud of my first draft, (as you should be!) that I’d get genuinely upset when people told me it wasn’t good. (I was a kid, and I thought I’d nailed it.)

It wasn’t until I rewrote that story that I thought, “Wait... this new version is actually better.” Fast forward through decades of repeating that process, and I finally reached a point where I had to force myself to stop rewriting and just let the story be.

Here’s the truth: writing is a skill. Like any skill, you only get better the more you do it.

Your first draft? It’s wonderful. Not because it’s perfect, it won’t be, but because you finished it. And that’s something to be proud of. Most people never even complete one draft, so you’re already ahead.

The Difference Between Beginners and Experienced Writers:

• A beginner looks at their work and thinks, “This is done. Nothing to fix.”
• An experienced writer looks at their manuscript and always finds something to add, cut, or improve.

Accepting that your first draft isn’t your best work is the first step to becoming a better writer. Spotting flaws, understanding what doesn’t work, and learning how to fix it...that’s where growth happens.

But what if you’re stuck? What if you know your draft isn’t working but can’t figure out why? Get a buddy to read it. Fresh eyes catch things you’ve missed. Just be ready because feedback can be brutal, and that’s a good thing. Honest critique helps you grow faster than anything else. 

The same logic applies to stories, not just drafts. Your first story won’t be as good as your second, and your third will be even better. That’s something I’ve learned as I prepare to publish my debut novel. I already know my next book will be stronger, and I’m still proud of this one.

Keeping that first book, flaws and all, is crucial to me. It’s a record of how far I’ve come. When I look back, I’ll see not just mistakes but growth.

So, if you look back at your first draft and cringe a little?

Good.

It means you’ve grown.

Writing Advice: How to Write When You’re Not Inspired

How to Write When You’re Not Inspired

I’ve been writing for...let’s call it a year or two. Or twenty. And honestly? There are months when I just don’t write. It’s not because of a lack of motivation. It’s more that sometimes, I simply don’t want to. And that’s okay.

The creative bug, as some call it, died in winter (because, of course, it’s winter). It won’t crawl back out until summer, and honestly? It’s infuriating. I want to write. But I can’t.

This isn’t about losing motivation or writers block. It’s the sheer gravitational pull of everything not writing: video games, naps, watching shows/movies, etc.

When this happens, especially to others, they begin to doubt themselves. “Did I ever even love writing?” Might be a question they asked themselves. They haven’t touched it in months, but they’re happy doing other things. And yeah, I’ve had those same thoughts too.

Here’s the first thing I remind myself: There’s no harm in needing a break. Some people swear by the “just write one word!” advice, but honestly? If that one word takes me hours and leaves me frustrated, I haven’t achieved anything. I’ve just made myself miserable. And in a world that’s already exhausting? I’d rather just stay happy.

So how do I fix this?

Honestly? I don’t have a perfect answer. Sometimes, I just have to wait for summer to roll back around before I can write again. But there are a few things that help me ease back into the flow.

1) I Get Jealous

Weird? Maybe. But it works.

I’m in a bunch of writing groups, and when I see them posting about their word counts, their edits, or, their upcoming book releases, that little bug starts gnawing at me. And you know what? It’s weirdly effective. Suddenly, I’m back in my chair, typing away.

Now, let’s be clear: I don’t write because I think I’m better than them (have you seen their work? It’s incredible). I write because I want to keep up. I want to share my own progress, to feel that same pride, to inch closer to finishing my own story. So yeah, sometimes jealousy isn’t a vice. It’s a spark.

2) Write Something Else

Picture this: I should be working on my book. But it’s cold, inspiration is hibernating, and my electric blanket + coffee combo is calling my name louder than my manuscript. (This may or may not be how I procrastinated before writing this.)

Then, the guilt hits. I haven’t written in weeks. But instead of forcing my book, I wrote a random Facebook post, and somehow...it worked.

Weird? Maybe. But sometimes, you need to grease your gears with something completely unrelated. A silly post, a rant about your pet’s weird habits, anything to remind your brain that writing can be easy and fun.

This is why “uninspired” isn’t the same as “unmotivated.” The desire is there; the engine’s just stuck. And sometimes, a low-stakes warm-up is all it takes to get the real work moving again.

3) You Can’t Write on a Cloudy Day

For me, writing requires a clear mind, one that can fully immerse me in my characters and stories. But inspiration refuses to show up, no matter how badly I want to write. Sometimes, the best course of action is to walk away.

Sure, that might mean not writing for three months. But if my brain’s fogged over, forcing it only leads to awful drafts I’ll despise later (and inevitably rewrite).

To ensure I don’t fall behind with my writing, I keep a notebook of ideas. Jotting down random thoughts means I never truly “lose” them. Weeks later, re-reading those scraps might spark excitement all over again.

The planets don’t need to align, just my focus. If my mind’s not on the page today, that’s fine. I know it’ll be there another day.

As long as the want to write is still there, the inspiration will circle back. And when it does? You’ll find me at my desk on a sunny day, ready to go.

Writing Advice: Getting Over Writers Block

(Originally written on 26/09/2024)

It seems like every writer has talked about writer's block at least once, and I’m surprised, at least from what I could tell, that I haven’t spoken about this. The truth is that I don’t know how to get over writer's block, at least not regularly.

Writers' Block differs from person to person, and what helps someone might not help you. The least I can do is talk about some of the writer's blocks I go through, hoping that some of the stuff I do might benefit you.

Why am I not writing?

This is the first question I ask myself. Is it because I’m dealing with trauma and burned out? Is it because I’m creating a new story and don’t know what to put on paper? Is it because I’m distracted by a new video game? Whatever the reason, figuring out why I’m not writing is the first step. Below are some common reasons why I stopped writing and how I handled them.

I’m depressed!

A lot of my writing slumps are because I’m either depressed or dealing with trauma in a way that prevents me from writing. Some people say writing is an excellent way to deal with trauma, and for that, I agree...it just doesn’t work for me all of the time.

If I’m going through a depressive episode, I can’t write. No matter how much I want to. Instead of forcing myself to push through this, I need time to recharge and relax.

I play video games, watch shows or movies, just do something for a week or two and just recharge and deal with my depression and trauma in a healthy way. I know I haven’t written anything in two weeks and want to, but once I get myself out of this cycle, I can get back to it.

I never found that pushing through my slump and just writing for the sake of writing was helpful. If anything, whenever I try to push through my depressive episode and write, I often get mad at my writing, which only makes the situation worse.

If your body tells you to take some time off and relax, I find it best to listen. Don’t fight your body; take a holiday, relax, and do something fun. Do whatever you have to recharge; when you feel better, you can return to your writing.

I just don’t know what to put on my paper!

I get this. Whenever I start a new story, I go through this a lot. Writing is hard. Creating ideas, stories, and characters is difficult when starting at square one. I’m writing this instead of my newest book simply because I don’t know what to put in it.

Authors create many different ways and techniques to help them escape this struggle, but writing something completely different often works for me. If I don’t know how to start a story, I fill out some character bios or do some world-building. If I don’t know what to put in this chapter, I go to the next one and move on. Suppose I’m having difficulty creating a new story from scratch where I don’t know the characters, world, lore, or anything. I often make a folder and put down straightforward things. Character A, B, dragons, fighting, and just leave it like that. This way, I can trick my brain into saying I’m working on this story; I know I don’t have much, but at least I have something.

Within those folders, I also just start putting random things in every once in a while, such as Character A...happy...short...something...it’s not much. Often times, Character A ends up becoming none of those things, but by putting even the randomness of things in a folder, I tell myself, yes, I’m writing, even if it’s by small amounts, I’m still writing.

Other times, I get upset if I haven’t written anything down for a while. To mitigate this, I write something that’s not related at all to what I want to write about, like creating writing advice articles! Or I might write a stupid letter to no one or express that I’m angry in a poem. I write for the sake of writing. Sometimes, if I struggle to write a story, writing something completely different helps my brain. How does that work? I’m not sure, but all I know is that it does.

Creating a little side project, something you can jump to whenever you’re stuck with your primary goal, helps me. Honestly,it’s why I created writing articles in the first place. Sometimes, your little side projects might take over your main writing for the next month or two, and honestly, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. If you need to take a break from your main writing project, you must take a break. If creating something on the side will help you with your creativity, go for it.

Other times, if I’m struggling, and it’s been like 1-2 weeks of not writing where I can’t seem to put anything down on paper. I write a simple word. Maybe it’s one word in the chapter I’m struggling with or one word in a character's bio. However, I’m telling myself I’m doing my best. It may be slow, but I’m doing my best, and when I’m ready, I’ll figure out more words to put down later.

I’m not good enough!

Sometimes, I get discouraged from writing when I notice others who seem to be achieving so much. My imposter syndrome often makes me hard on myself, and I believe my words are pathetic or cringe-worthy and that I should give up.

It’s challenging not to compare yourself to others, especially if you view them on a much higher pedestal than you. At times like these, I often reflect on where I came from. I kept a lot of my old writings from when I was young, and I chuckle as I try to figure out just what I was saying in those stories.

I look at the past to see how far I came along in the present, and while this doesn’t get rid of my imposter syndrome, it sometimes gets me out of it for just a moment to get me back into writing. If you can look back at your old writing and believe it’s horrible, then you know you’ve improved along your journey, and that’s great. You might be stuck now, but you’ve improved once, and you’ll do it again.

Writer's block is different for everyone, and you might experience writer's block in a way that I haven’t mentioned. If you’re struggling with this, I can give you one more piece of advice: simply chat with others. I’m a part of several writer's groups, and I enjoy talking with them or getting others to read my stories. And they could inform me what things they liked and didn’t like about my stories, and sometimes that might help me get out of my writing slump.

I engage in friendly conversations or debates. And sometimes, I chat about nothing in particular. I know we all write alone, but it’s good to know you're not alone in writing. Others are creating their stories alongside you, and cheering you on while you cheer them on is one of the greatest motivators I discovered. And I get that you might be an introvert and not want to socialise, or socialising takes a lot of energy. Many writers are introverts, so we understand the struggle of talking to others. Good writing groups won’t pick on you for not socialising. Good writing groups will encourage you to keep going. I know writing groups have their clicks and dramas, just like every online space, and talking in a place where there may be hundreds of people is scary. But if you can find a few people you click with, speak with them privately. Having a writing buddy and writing friends, even if it’s one or two, is a great way to get out of writing slumps.

That’s all I have about getting over writer's block; it’s a topic that doesn’t have a concrete answer because what works for someone might not work for you, and what does work for you one day might not work a second day. Just know it’s okay if your writing takes longer than you thought. Even professional writers struggle with this; you’re not alone. Take your time, take a breath, and I’m looking forward to seeing what you create in the future.