Writing Advice: Swear Words

Swear words are a hot topic (for some reason) after all, they’re just words...right? Well, yes and no. You see curse words are more so, empathise words. They help express our emotions.

For example, take a look at these different sentences.

“Yeah, I’ll do it!” She said excitedly.

“Fuck yeah, I’ll do it!” She said excitedly.

Both sentences are about a woman agreeing to do something she’s excited about, however, one feels more excited than the other.

So...what’s the problem? If swear words are mainly used as a way to empathise what someone is saying, why do people have a problem with it? At what point does it feel like these words feel forced? How about overused? Coming out of nowhere? I don’t think I can answer any of those questions, I’m a writer, not a psychologist but I’ll try my best to explain what I see going on in media when it comes to swear words.

Swear words are childish: This one makes me chuckle because I was told growing up, swear words are for adults, now that I am one, I’m told if I use swear words I’m acting like a child...so which one is it?

I believe this kind of mentality comes from the fact when people witness others swearing, it’s because they have big emotions. This could be when people are angry, frustrated, or even happy. It’s almost like you can’t show big emotions for some reason?

If you’re creating a scene and want to drive the emotions home, put in a few swear words. This can have many different effects depending on how it’s used. For example, if swearing is a normal thing in your books, but you have one character who doesn’t swear. After a big emotional scene where that character who doesn’t swear is at their lowest point if all of a sudden they softly tell someone to fuck off, those words will have more impact than just telling someone else to go away.

You can also have someone just be happy as the example in the beginning suggested. Swearing can show just how excited someone is. If you need help showing off some big emotional scenes, try throwing in a swear word or two and see how I come across.

It’s impolite to swear: Let’s circle around the word “impolite”, what does it mean? People say it all the time, it’s impolite to use swear words, to stare at others, to burp in a restaurant, etc. According to the Oxford Dictionary, impolite means to have bad manners, but who dictates manners?

The deeper I go, the more I’m going down the social construct of swear words, and mannerism, but stay with me.

Let’s say there are two different families, one military, the other religious. One thinks swearing is fine, the other thinks it’s impolite...which is correct? Neither, it’s up to you to figure out what makes you comfortable and what doesn’t, however, if, in your opinion, swearing is “impolite” while you can ask people to keep it down while you’re around, don’t try and change them. That's impolite.

If you think swearing is normal, and it’s in your story, and others tell you to take it out, fuck them. If you, the writer of your story see nothing wrong with swearing and want to add those words in then by all means, go for it, it’s your story. You don’t have to change anything just because someone else didn’t like those words.

Swear words are for the uneducated: This kind of mentality is just stupid. There’s no reason to suggest you’re uneducated if you swear. You can’t tell me if a scientist breaks their own experiment due to frustration and they swear because of it that they’re no longer as smart as they were ten seconds ago.

If the reasoning for this is by pointing at poor and uneducated people to prove your point...that won’t change my opinion besides making me not like you. There’s no study which proves swearing affects your level of education or financial success.

Have educated people swear in your stories, if that’s the kind of language they’ll use, make them use it. There’s no reason to restrain yourself if it doesn’t feel right.

Kids shouldn’t swear: Have you seen video game lobbies? Kids swear and it’s fine. As I said, swear words help show off big emotions and kids are emotional, let them swear. If your story allows for swearing and you have kids, again, you don’t have to restrain yourself by making them not swear, if the setting allows for it, let them swear.

If you use swear words too much they’ll lose their value: While that’s true, partially, it shouldn’t be used as a way to get others not to swear. Yes, if you have a character that swears every other sentence, then those swear words will start to be just normal words. However, you don’t need to change how they speak if swearing is a part of their vocabulary and swearing every other word is something they do. They’re not uneducated, impolite, or childish, they just swear a lot and that’s fine.

Swear words, while empathising with the emotions we go through, doesn’t have to be this big thing every time a swear word is spoken. It can just be used as a word, a filler word if that. Sometimes if a character who swears all the time suddenly stops and just tells someone to "get out", that could be just as impactful as the character who never swears to say the word, fuck off.

You shouldn’t swear, you’re a …: This is just stupid, insert anything you want in the blank but just because you’re [___] doesn’t mean you can’t swear. (Unless your job is working with children you probably shouldn’t swear at the kids. You don’t want them to repeat what you said, going home and having the parents try and get you fired.)

I’ve seen this used against disabled and indigenous people, where others say they shouldn’t swear because they're setting a bad example for their community...no they're not. There’s no reason why people in a minority shouldn’t be allowed to swear. Also if you’re a teacher, and don’t swear while at work, if you swear off work you should be fine. You’re off work and have a life. You don’t have to keep being a teacher even when you’re no longer getting paid.

In your books, don’t restrain yourself by making some characters not swear because they're a [___] It’s your story, do what you want.

Swear words feel force: This might be the one take where it has some merit. Even those who don’t mind swearing can still tell if something feels forced or not and trying to convey natural swearing in a book is a bit difficult.

If you’re creating a story and it has swear words in it, I think the tone will be the big indicator if your swear words feel forced or not. If your story is mainly written like a YA novel, but you wanted it to be more adult so you added swear words, the tone might make it seem like those words are a bit forceful.

If you’re writing a darker story with gore and violence, swear words in those stories might come across as a bit more natural. However, too much swearing can be seen as trying too hard, while at the same time, even if your story is a bit more on the darker side if you never swore until ten chapters in, even if the setting makes sense for swear words, it can still come out as unnatural.

For example, when I read Dragons and Skylines: Book 1 Feathers and Gold, there are swear words in it, however, I think it’s because it felt like a YA novel that when they did appear I was caught off guard by them. The word “fuck” only appears five times and the word “shit” only appears three times, so when they do appear, it’s so far and in-between that I never expect them.

This might all come down to beta reader preference. You’ll need beta readers who are fine with swearing and let you know how those words came across. If it feels like those words are a bit force, changing up the tone might help but it’s most likely gonna be trial and error. Just remember everyone has their own opinions on swear words and if all else fails just go with what you think is best.

When are the times you should avoid swearing?

It mainly comes down to marketability. Children's and YA books, you probably don’t want to be dropping the F-bomb. Anything higher than YA and you’re probably fine. While I personally think swearing is fine, and don’t care if children swear, cursing has such a negative connotation that if your children's book has swear words, it’ll never get picked up by parents. Even ones who are fine with swearing will probably avoid picking up your book. The same goes for YA stories. Most YA stories are bought by parents for their children. (Even though in most YA stories, the setting they live in, feels like swearing would be a common vocabulary.) Apparently the Hunger Games, a dystopian hell whole, only mildly uses the words “hell” and “damn” and those aren’t even swear words! Have y'all seen the kind of world Katniss is in? I feel like swearing is fine in that setting but what do I know?

Other than trying to sell your book to a particular audience. Swear words can be used in nearly anything you want. Now before I warp this up, I want to point out the difference between swear words and slurs. Swear words help empathise the emotions we go through. Slurs are for the express purpose of demeaning someone or a group of people. Just so we’re clear, slurs are bad, and swears are fine, there’s a difference.