Where Are You From?

I’ve been asked that question a few times in my life. If you’re a POC (person of colour) or even white-passing you might have heard that question a few times in your life. As for me, I never knew what that question really meant or why so many people asked me this question until I was older.

In most cases, when people (mainly whites) ask where you’re from, it’s so they can figure out how to judge you and either try to avoid being racist or just be racist but this time is culturally correct. (Most of the time their cultural racism is far off from what I am.)

Let’s start with the non-racist people. Some people are just interested in where others come from. If someone approached me and asked where I’m from, I would tell them the United States of America, if they’re not racist, that line of conversation ends.

So why is it considered racist if they keep asking me?

It’s because they want to know where my blood comes from, since I don’t look white, they get confused.

Stranger—Where are you from?

Me—U.S.A

Stranger – No, I mean where are your parents from?

Me - ...U.S.A?

Rakshitha Arni Ravishankar probably said it the best when explaining why asking where someone is from is a bad thing. “It reduces someone’s identity to a social group, a city, or a culture, and that can trigger feelings of alienation.” (2020, Ascend, What’s Wrong with Asking “Where Are You From?”, https://hbr.org/2020/10/whats-wrong-with-asking-where-are-you-from)

I got asked this question a lot by my own classmates who didn't believe I grew up in the same town they did. When I told them my blood is Puerto Rican I would get lumped in with the other Hispanic kids. Racial jokes shortly followed.

The feeling of alienation was always there. I wasn’t Hispanic enough to be with the Hispanic kids, and I wasn’t American enough to be with the American kids. Yes, I did have my own friend group but we were a group of rejects. I always wanted to be part of the other groups but they never let me and I never understood why. I’m Hispanic, and I’m American, why can’t I join both groups?

I told my mother I thought about changing my last name to make it sound more American but my mother insisted I didn’t because corporations hire people based on which groups they belong to. My mother wanted me to look white, but keep my last name so it’ll be easier to get a job. (It wasn’t easy).

Moving forward to when I came to Australia I was asked where I’m from. This time I’m annoyed at these questions and lie to people, every single time they believed me. I even told one person I’m from Azela (a made-up country in my book) and they believed it.

These people just want me to say “I’m not Australian” (because I’m not) so they can lump me with group A) B) or C)

“I don’t care if people ask me where I’m from!” This is something I heard more than once and that’s because white people don’t get asked that question every time they have a conversation with someone.

I pulled an uno reverse card on someone and asked them where they were from and it went a little something like this.

Me – Where are you from?

Stranger – I came from ___ state, my father came from ___ and my mother came from ___

Me – That’s nice, but where are you really from?

Stranger - ?

Me – I mean, where’s your blood from?

Stranger – My bloods American.

Me – What about your ancestors? Where are they from?

Stranger – England most likely, I also have a little bit of Irish in me

Me – I thought you were Irish, you looked Irish. I know another Irish, Bob, who makes the best potato bake, Do you know Bob?

Like I said before, I live in Australia and when I get asked the question where am I from and I say the United States of America what’s followed is a barrage of jokes against Americans. “Don’t shoot me!”

“I thought you’d be fatter.”

“Did you move your sister here as well?”

“Do I need to slow down so you can understand me?”

A lot of people lump others into one of three separate categories

1) This group is good

2) This group is bad

3) I don’t know much about this group to be certain what my feelings are.

Asking where I’m from will place me in one of those three categories and I can tell if I’m in number two or three, just stop lumping people in categories. Regardless of where someone is from, they’re a person. A person who is different from someone else. If white people truly make the claim they don’t see race, then they should stop asking people of colour where they came from based on their looks.

That is why asking someone where they are from, to a complete stranger, especially if that stranger is a POC can be seen as a racist.